Reaching Out

Phyllis People 84 Comments

I have been sitting here reflecting on the events of the past three weeks and wondering, what do you say? My dad passed away a couple of weeks ago. It was life-changing for our family, but we know he is in Heaven, pain-free and happy. For us, we know that in our minds, and we just need our hearts to catch up.

I have learned so many things through this time that I wanted to share with you. The overwhelming outpouring of love and concern has touched our lives. People that we have known from our past, people we work with, and our friends and family have reached out to us, and it really meant so much.

There have been times I should have called or written a card when people were grieving, but didn’t as I got distracted and excused it away. To the hundreds of people who reached out to us, thank you for showing me it matters. Every note, email, and call makes such a difference.

Life is meant to be lived. My dad lived life to the fullest. We have laughed at his coupons that were left where he fully intended to “get a bargain.” We have shared stories with people, and they have shared with us. Talking and laughing is very healthy for all. Each one who shared with us told of their experiences with Dad—many we knew, and others we just heard for the first time. How fabulous it was to talk. Don’t be afraid to talk with people grieving. It is really very restorative to the soul.

I have shared many stories with you on Ribbon about Mom and Dad and probably will in the future. We learn from people in our lives, and that is always the best teacher. God puts people in our lives for a reason. I am the firstborn of the three children. You have heard from my sister, Janice, on Ribbon and my brother, Keith, is hoping I never write about him—all in fun. Although he says he should write about both me and Janice…we’ll see. We are blessed to have great parents who realized that we are individuals and definitely unique. That’s what makes families! All the various personalities blended into one household but who remain individuals. They never tried to makes us into someone we were not intended to be. They let us be ourselves and encouraged us to develop our own interests and talents.

Grieving is an individual thing. Everyone grieves in their own way. I have observed this during this time, and it is so true. And we must always give ourselves permission to grieve. It is a part of life and a part of who we are.

Many of you have reached out to me during this time, and I am forever grateful. I love our Ribbon group, and I know that together we make a difference! Much love to you all.

Comments 84

  1. I’m so sorry to hear this as I know your pain and feelings! I just lost my beautiful dad several weeks ago also! I sit here thinking of all the funny things my daddy said and did but I miss holding his hand and sitting with him while he tells me stories of his Navy days! I am the only girl with 2 brothers, one that was my dad’s side kick! But God is good I know too my daddy is healed and with Jesus dancing on streets of gold and we will see him Again!

  2. Dear Phyllis, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your father. I have not been reading my emails in recent weeks because of loss in my own family, our son-in-law died suddenly of a heart attack at 57 years of age! But it doesn’t matter what age we lose someone we love it still is heart breaking. I know God is faithful, He will sustain us! I enjoy your “Ribbon “ so much, may God continue to bless you and your work!

  3. To all of you wonderful friends, thank you for your comments. I wanted you to know as we have walked thru many things together since Ribbon was launched. My heart was touched by your heartfelt thoughts and personal things you shared.

    I love you all and thank you for being such a great support group. You have blessed my heart in so many ways. Love, Phyllis

  4. Sending warm sympathy in the recent loss of your Dear Father. You will miss him in many ways. The best thing is you know he is with the Lord. May you be conmforted along with your loving family. I have been this road as well.

    Warmly,
    Charleen

  5. Dear Phyllis,

    “To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world” — one of my favorite sayings. And I know your father was the world to you, as mine was to me. Time can lessen the pain and grief but you never forget. I lost my father at a young age (over 40 years ago) and I still remember feeling the pain would never go away. Somehow the years go on (and you survive) but the memories never fade. Not a day goes by that I do not remember my father and all the wonderful things he did for me and taught me to do.

    I have lost many people since my father passed (to what I hope is a better place), and each person that I have loved, cherished and lost has a special place in my heart. I do better these days with the grief of each passing , knowing (as the song goes) “someday we’ll be together”.

    But, in August my x-husband passed away and my heart is broken again. This loss has been the worst for me. We were still very much in love and were sharing our last years together. Now he is everlastingly gone and it is almost unbearable facing the future alone. When people reach out, it is such a blessing, but this time people did not understand my heartbreak since we had divorced years ago. He was still the love of my life… Again, I will allow time and faith to see me through. God does not let us down and will provide what we need. I know this will work for you, too, and your pain will turn to wonderful memories and more appreciation than you can imagine for the time you had together.

    My deepest sympathy to you and your family – your little columns are a comfort and inspiration to me and they always seem to come at the right time.
    May God continue to bless and watch over you!! You are a very special person.

  6. Dear Phyllis,
    As I read your opening lines, I felt as if I were experiencing a mirror image of where we are. My precious 97-year-old mother-in-law moved from earth to heaven on Sept. 30. The memorial was a befitting testimony to her life of love, generosity, and kindness.

    Stories have such power. The week of Mother’s memorial was filled with memories as folks near and far shared memorable moments–which make up our lives.

    Thank you for sharing. God bless you and yours as you laugh and cry!

  7. Dear Phyllis,
    Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at the loss of your Dad. My heart especially goes out to your Mother at this time.

    Much like you have experienced with the homegoing of your Dad…I found that God used other people sharing stories (many that I had never heard of before, too) to help heal the hole in my heart in losing my parents. I especially found this to be true in the passing of my Mother a few months ago because the last two years of her life were pretty hard and while taking care of her and bearing most of the responsibility, I had temporarily forgotten memories of her in her younger years. As others shared about earlier memories of her life, it was so comforting to me…and the last two years just faded away and left the wonderful memories. I am so thankful that we had asked the pastor to open up a time for sharing and the people responded so sweetly at her homegoing. It brought and continues to bring healing to my brother, sister and I. We will be forever grateful to those who shared these precious memories with us. There are still times when grief comes and there are certain ‘triggers to tears’…such as music because it was so much a part of our lives growing up. Sometimes it creates such a longing to see them…but still I would not want to bring them back.

    I was thinking about your grandchildren and though they are not very old, I believe that they are more than old enough to remember their great-grandfather…especially as I know you will continue to share your Dad’s stories and pictures with them from time to time in the years to come. His legacy will live on in them, too.

    May the Lord’s presence continue to sweetly comfort you through this time of saying ‘Goodbye’…though really it’s just saying…’See you later.’…to those of us who believe Jesus is preparing a place for those who have accepted Him as their Savior. Your Dad’s place in Heaven is tailor made just for him because God knows him best of all. We can ‘Only Imagine’ right now but someday, we’ll see and visit with our loved ones again and it will be the best family reunion…ever!

  8. Phyllis, I am so sorry to learn of your Dad’s passing. May God continue to minister to your hurting hearts and through your sweet memories. What a treasure you have in them! Your faith in God will see you through!

  9. Oh, Phyllis, this is the first I’ve heard of your father’s death. I’m so sorry and your entire family have my sincere condolences. Your lives will never be the same but it sounds like you had a wonderful Dad.
    My daughter was visiting last week with my Mom and I for Mom’s 94th birthday. We remembered so many grand times about and with my Dad of how his family was so important to him.
    We were blest to have wonderful upstanding men as our Dads. You all are on my prayer list.

  10. I didn’t know your Dad passed away until this latest entry in Ribbon.
    I’m so sorry for you and your whole family.
    Parents and Family are our anchor in the storm. Cling to each other now and until and share memories and pictures and laughs and tears.
    This grief thing creeps up on you sometimes at the most in-opportune time.
    Just take everything one day and sometimes one hour at a time. That’s all anybody can do.
    May Your Dear Dad Rest In Peace.

  11. Dear Phyllis,
    Fall is here, autumn is in the air and you are experiencing the loss of your Father.
    A tremendous loss to you and your family and my heart is burdened for what you
    are experiencing. My prayers for peace and comfort for you and yours and do enjoy
    sharing of your memories of such a great man. I know from what you are and who you’ve
    become he was very proud of you.
    May God comfort you at this most difficult time.
    California Carmel

  12. Phyllis,
    I am so sorry for the loss of your father. It sounds like his was a life well lived. I am sure hearing about the many lives he touched & sharing memories has been a blessing to you. When my sweet mother-in-law passed away, it was wonderful hear from all those who knew her. Prayers for all your family.

  13. So sorry for your loss. I see my precious Dad now in my children- the same smile or quirky grin, the phrases they use, their eyes….your Dad will always be with you in your heart and thru your children

  14. Oh dearest Phyllis, such love and comfort is wished for you and your family during this time of grief on the loss of your Dad. I want to gift you with hope. Hope to see the signs from Spirit your Dad will gift you with once he is accustomed to being in Spirit. Our beloved in Spirit are alive and still can be part of our lives if we allow their communication with us to continue! Meetings in the dream state, signs like feathers or coins appearing suddenly or even through electronics, meaningful songs from the radio, the scent of his cologne or the sense of his presence. The sound of their voices in our minds, like telepathic communication. My Dad will be gone 24 years this November 2nd, so I speak from experience, not meaningless rhetoric. While at my eldest nephew’s wedding, the sensation of feeling my Dad holding my hand was a poignant gift. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. A reputable source for grief and the bereavement process is David Kessler’s http://www.grief.com. God bless your Dad’s Soul and all whom he loves.

  15. My father passed away 14 years ago this month. My brothers and I often recall his wonderful sense of humor and this is our legacy.
    Peace and blessings to you and your family.

  16. We are never ready for our parents to leave us,no matter how old we are or how old they are. I miss my parents more today than yesterday and you will miss your Dad till your last day. But the good news is he has just changed his address to our Heavenly Father’s House! And the Bible tells us we will meet again. Praying for peace for you and your family! Hugs, Diane Cook

  17. Oh Phyllis… I am so sorry to hear about your father! He must have been a wonderful man! I lost my father many years back before Thanksgiving when my daughters were in elementary school. He was so loved by all but his death hit my young daughters very hard. The tears would come at bedtime and one night my oldest asked if she could have a little Christmas tree in her room with little lights on it. She said it would remind her of Smitty and she would know that he was smiling down on her from Heaven! The next day we ran out and got little trees with white lights for everyone’s bedroom. His birthday was in early December which was very hard that year. Lo and behold, my daughters came up with another idea to honor him. We had the little Angel Chimes where the candles are lit and the angels circle around. We made chocolate chip cookies, turned out the lights, lit the angel chimes and they sang Happy Birthday to Smitty! Then they wanted to sing Happy Birthday to Jesus! These two little events after his death have become our entire family tradition now for 35 years. On the night of December 5th, Smitty’s Birthday, everyone puts the little Christmas trees with only little white lights in their bedroom. The chocolate chip cookies are made, the angel chimes lit and two Happy Birthday songs are sung… one to Smitty and one to Jesus. It’s a tradition in our families that has helped heal our hearts and it will live on and on to honor this wonderful, exceptional man! May God bless you and your beautiful family and may he fill your hearts with peace and comfort at this very sad time! xoxo

  18. Thank you for this entry at such a hard time in your life. I love that you mentioned that in the past you meant to send a note but did not. I think it is so important to send that note even if it is months later. I have regretted in the past not calling or sending a note to someone. What an easy sentiment that means so much. People don’t often know how to react or reach out after a death. Just do it, even if you don’t know the right words. It means more than you know to the grieving person. I girl I grew up with in my neighborhood died. I hadn’t spoken or seen her parents in years but felt that I should send a card. When my mom was over visiting the girl’s mother, she pulled out one single card to show my mom and said it was the only one she planned to keep. It was the one I sent. You never know how your words will affect someone.

  19. So sorry to learn of the loss of your father. Rejoicing with you that he is with the Lord, but understanding the hurt at the loss of his presence with you on earth. Deepest sympathy.

  20. Phyllis,
    I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I know you feel blessed to have had him with you as long as you have. I know it is one of my greatest blessings to still have both my parents and inlaws. I will always remember seeing your parents at the wonderful Southern Lady Celebrations which I miss so much. May God grant you all peace and comfort.

  21. I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost both folks over 10 years ago. Pop started his Wurthers Originals “addiction” when he quit smoking. For a few years after he died I kept finding Wurther’s wrappers in the house! I know he is in heaven as well as Mom. Once day I will see them again. Much love – Janet

  22. Phyllis,
    I am so very sorry to read about the loss of your loved father. I know how much you must miss him. The book I am now reading uses the phrase “sorrowful gifts.” It is with and in sorrow, that we have the gift of wonderful memories of our most treasured souls and family members. I like that idea of a “gift” of our memories. May you have many such gifts of memories-treasures to be remembered and to be shared.
    Best,
    Nancee

  23. Phyllis, my deepest sympathy to you and your family for your loss. Parents are indeed a very special gift from God. It is our hope and comfort as Christians to know that we will all be reunited with our loved ones once again. May God comfort you and your family with his peace and love each and every day.

  24. Always learn so much from your posts and wish I could meet you personally. Thank you for always being willing to share your life experiences!

  25. Dearest Phyllis, I am so sorry for your loss. I remember reading once that in the South, we never feel like true adults until we lose a parent. Our families are so dear to us. Particularly to Southern women, our daddies loom large in our lives. They are our rock. My prayers are with you and your family. I know you will see him again when you reach heaven.

  26. Dear Phyllis,
    I am so sorry to learn of your father’s death. Father-Daughter relationships are so important to us. My father told me when I was grieving the loss of his mother, my Granny,
    that all of his memories of her were so sweet they removed a lot of the sting of her death. Knowing the parting is only temporary is a great help to me. Daddy and I were very close
    as I had lost my mother when I was five and had a baby brother who was two. Years later Daddy remarried and I had a very dear second mother who adopted my brother and me so we wouldn’t be step children.

    So many of us are praying for you and your family and we know the Heavenly Father has sent the Comforter to utter prayers for us beyond what we can pray for each other and for ourselves in grief. Sharing grief is another help in living around the hole left in your life by the loss.

    God bless you and your family.

  27. Dear Phyllis and family,

    I’m sorry to learn that your Dad has passed away. I know you miss him so very much –what a comfort to know that he is home with the Lord Jesus, rejoicing in His presence forever! And to know — not only believe but truly be assured and know!!! — that you will be reunited with him someday — may that comfort you now and in the times ahead when things get rough.
    May you memories grow sweeter each day as your sorrow fades away.
    Praying that you will feel God’s loving arms around you, holding you up,
    Bless you all,
    Susie

  28. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Phyllis. Cherish your memories and ,as you have discovered, talk about your Dad lots and lots. He is always alive in your heart!!!!! I lost my dad in 1964 , when I was 17. It is hard, and to this day there still moments that the tears come , but that is OK. It is a sign of how much he was loved!!!!! Every August 29 I tell people I am with it was his birthday. This year he would have been 138. God bless and give you peace!
    Carolyn Ramsay, Kamloops, BC, Canada

  29. Thank you for taking time at this difficult point in your life to share your thoughts with us. So many times you have said just the right thing to many of us though your writings here. May much peace, many beautiful memories, and many uplifting prayers come your way.

  30. Sorry for your lose, know y’all are in very sorrowful place right now, but you are just separated for a while. Saved people are just separated for a little while, then back together again FOREVER. The week after we lost our special needs son very unexpectedly, I heard a song that has helped me so much and when I miss him most I bring it up and it brings it all home to me as to just how far Jason is from me. The name is “In The Other Room” by Mark Bishop, and it just tells us Heaven is not a far off place, it’s just in the other room and there is a door separating us and the door is Jesus and when he’s ready for the rest of us, he’ll step aside and open the door. I’ll tell you, you’d better have a tissue ready because the Lord will touch and bring you peace thru this song.

  31. I am so sorry for what you and your family have been experiencing. I don’t know you, personally, but I can honestly tell you that I think I know what you are going through. I lost my dad just a little over two years ago and not a day goes by that I don’t think of him many times, and also wish I could pick his brain and get his sage advice. He was my hero. Dads are so very important to us girls.
    I wish I could say there is such a thing as this “closure” everyone speaks about, but sorry, I haven’t found it. I think the closest thing to it might be around that time when you start to begin to be able to laugh at the little quirks and talk about the funny things which happened that you remember so fondly.
    I know what you mean about people not bringing up the subject, or speaking of it after the immediate condolences are said. I think they fear opening our wounds, but I don’t feel that way at all. It wouldn’t bother me, but bring me comfort. I can tell you this, your dad is in some good company up there!

  32. Phyllis- Please know you are in my prayers and I trust the Lord will bless your family. Surely your wonderful memories will be a source of joy in your life.

  33. Oh Phyllis!! Your ribbons always contain some life lesson! Thank you again for sharing this very personal time. So many of us have been through your same pain…. but please know sometime down the road… you’ll smile as you remember cherished words, actions and fun. You’ll laugh as you remember a funny word or time. You will I promise you. When I last my dad…. the pain… the sadness… I do t think I could have gotten through it without knowing I WILL seebhim and my mom again in heaven!Na dear elderly friend wrote these words to me…
    This world is NOT a conclusion..
    A sequel stands beyond…
    Invisible as music….
    Yet positive as sound.

    God bless you and your family!
    You are all in my prayers!

  34. Phyllis, I am so sorry about your father. I lost my sweet father 15 weeks ago today. He too is in heaven with his Lord….I know he and your father will meet at some point. We have eternity to meet everyone! I know what you mean about the cards and letters. They were wonderful to receive from people that love my parents and me and my sisters. Love from others is part of what makes us the family of God. Personally, I have spent these last 3 months making quilts for my mom and family members, using my dad’s shirts for the center squares. It has been such a good way for me to grieve. One day, those that know the Lord, will all meet together….until then, I pray you will continue to be comforted and will enjoy your family memories. Cathleen

    1. Your quilts sound like a wonderful way to remember your dad. I have kept a box of fabric squares for nearly 50 years now, which I would cut from the leftover scraps of fabrics from the clothes we used to make. We used to sew most of our clothes, and there are many that came from shirts that Mom or I would make for him. Sometimes, I like to look those scraps and remember what each item was and whose it was!

  35. I truly believe that the longer we have our parents with us , the more difficult it is when they pass .
    I’ve followed “The Ribbon” for quite awhile and I have always loved your tributes to your Father . I recall when you pictured him at the grill preparing steaks for the family – apparently, a tradition he had and shared frequently . Every time I season a steak , I think of that article . Your Dad had a loving effect on me – a perfect stranger . Your heart will always hold the dear memories of your precious Dad . He truly was a man from the “Greatest Generation” . May the words and many thoughts and prayers from your “Ribbon” family offer some comfort during your time of grief .

  36. I spoke with your Mom and Dad at the last Southern Ladies convention that I attended. I first observed them from the audience and when you got up to speak, they beamed. The smiles on their faces and love showing through their eyes made it very obvious they were so proud of “their girl”. You were a God given blessing to them. Carry on as their precious daughter and continue to make them proud. You now have grandchildren to teach and empower as your parents did for you.

  37. I am so sorry. That’s all anyone can say. Your dad will always be with you. It might be something as simple as a smell. My dad has been gone since 2001 and all I have to do is pick up his pipe and he is with me. He also leaves pennies in my path….the strangest places….once in the surf on the beach, and once in Cuba. So glad you have good friends and family to help you.

  38. I am so sorry for your lossI remember when my parents died,my dad in1972 and my mom in 1999.My memories I willtreasure forever.

  39. Phyllis, I’m sorry you have lost your dad. I pray for grace as you and your family walk through this valley. May you find JESUS an ever present help as waves of sadness may rush in. Peace to you at this time.

  40. As you said, how blessed you were to have such a wonderful father! And now you have the support of siblings and your dear husband. I lost my parents when I was in my 30s, but no matter your age or your parents’ age, it is so very difficult to lose those precious people.
    May God continue to bless you as you go through this difficult time.

  41. Phyllis,

    I am so sorry for you and your precious family in the loss of your father. It sounds like you were his little girl, even if you got married and had children of your own. I know that’s what mine always said to me. Nothing can take that away. And knowing you will see him again one day makes it all the sweeter.

    Please know that many are praying for you and your family in this time and in the time to come. I was so happy to see above that you understand how individual grief is and how everyone will handle it in a totally different way. My mom and I shared every time we got back together again about the day my father died. It was an odd time and we could not reach my siblings so it was just her and me, a situation that I never thought would happen since I was the baby. But God knew that was the way it was meant to be.

    Give your mom that time to talk with you and pour out her heart to you and you pour out your heart to her as well. It’s all a part of grieving and it will make you stronger even though it makes you feel weak at the moment. Celebrate his life and legacy.

    Blessings,
    Teresa

  42. Oh, Phyllis. So sorry for your loss. How wonderful that you have so many happy memories of your Dad. What a blessing. May you take comfort in the love of your friends and family.

    I get such comfort from your posts, thank you for all the joy you share.

  43. God Bless you and your family at this sad time. I remember when my parents passed, how empty I felt, but having loved ones around to help support us, along with my parents’ friends sharing about their relationships with them helped so muccomfort us so much. I hope you find comfort in the heartfelt remembrances.

  44. Dear Phyllis, I am truly sorry to hear about your Dad. I send my deepest prayers to you and your family. My husband passed away in this August. We were married 59 years. I too know he is in heaven, away from pain. I miss him dearly. Blessings, Barbara in Sequim

  45. So sorry to hear about your dad. We think we are ready for this but we can never be. My Dad is 93 and is very healthy, but we all must remember it can not be this way forever. Hugs and prayers for your entire family!

  46. I am so very sorry for your great loss as your family’s loss and the loss of those who called your father a friend…I lost my dad when he was only 70…it was a shock and we kids grieved for a very long time…we still grieve, but in a different way. My mother was strong, she still is at the beautiful age of 93. She held us all together….A memory that is still close to my heart right after my dad died is a most heartfelt letter from a stranger. Now to this person, she was not a stranger, rather a person I so respected. She had written an editorial in her magazine about how much she welcomed and loved the approval of her dad when she set out to buy a new home. How we lean on our parents for that “thumbs up” on any new adventure or purchase that we make….that “kicking of the tires” of a home, saying, “this is a good one” My hubby and I were in the process of building a new home on a lake. My dad was so very excited as he loved to fish and was looking forward to many visits….he passed away before the house was built…so he never got to fish from the backyard of our new home. When this editor wrote about her loving her dad’s approval, I wrote to her about how I felt about the same…I told her that her editorial truly struck home and touched my heart. This editor wrote back to me…a most heartfelt letter that would make any person cry…I still have that letter and sometimes take it out and read it…that sweet editor was Jean LemMon…a past editor of Country Home….I can honestly say that your editorials too touch many hearts more than you know!

  47. Phyllis, I am so sorry for the loss of your father.
    When someone you love becomes a memory,
    the memory becomes a treasure.
    Peace to you and your family’s aching heart.

  48. So sorry for the loss of your precious father. You have many memories to provide comfort, and knowing that he is surrounded by the precious arms of a Heavenly Father will bring you peace.

  49. This is a beautiful writing, and I can relate to many of the things you posted. In the last two months, I lost a brother and my husband lost his only brother. We were very close to both of them. We, like you, have been greatly touched by friends and extended family members.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers as your adjust to a change in your life.

  50. I am so sorry to hear of your father’s passing. Please know that you are in my thoughts and I am praying for you and your family.

  51. So sorry to hear about the loss of your dear Father. May the memories you have of him,sustain you and lift you up, when you need it most.

  52. I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your Father….I know this is a difficult time in your life and in your families lives. So glad that you are able to share such wonderful memories of your Father…prayers for you and your family.

  53. So sorry to hear the loss of your Precious Father. My prayers are with you, your Mother, Sister and Brother. Thankful you have so many Wonderful Memories of your dad. May God Continue To wrap His Loving Arms around all of you in the days and weeks ahead. Love ❤️ and , Cheryl

  54. Phyllis
    So sorry to hear of your Dads passing. One thing is for sure, he wouldn’t want to come back. Always be thankful for such wonderful memories. As I get older, I hear so many ladies tell of their horrible memories of their parents so for me, I’d rather have lost mine knowing how much they loved me and I them, than to have memories of not feeling loved. My sympathy to you and your family.

  55. Dear Phyllis,

    I am so very sorry to hear of your Dad’s passing. Please know that you are in the prayers and thoughts of so many of your readers, like me. God bless you and your family.

  56. Truer words couldn’t be spoken of how good it feels to hear from people of our past when [especially] we lose a parent, spouse or child. We sure learn once we experience it. I hope you’re coping well. Little things like the coupons can easily bring a tear and a smile. My siblings and I can be in the middle of something, anything, that brings back a memory of either our mom or dad, and ll we have to do is just say “mom” or “dad” and we smile, laugh and sometimes get a little weepy. ❣

  57. I am very sorry for you and your family’s loss, Phyllis. I hope it is very comforting for you to know he is in heaven with many other awesome fathers. I learned so much about life just in general when my dad passed. I was almost 38 and it was the beginning of my serious walk with the Lord who brought great comfort and peace. Since that time I have lost my husband, mom, both siblings, and son who were main folks in my life and added to them were friends and extended family members. The one who hasn’t left and has remained the constant comfort, strength, peace and joy is my Savior who carries me through all heart ache. I know He is doing the same for you! kb

  58. Dear Phyllis,
    My heartfelt sympathy to you and your family with the passing of your dear Father. May the wonderful memories and love you shared with him bring you comfort and peace.
    Sincerely,
    Janice

  59. Hi, Phillis. The congregation of our church here in San Tan Valley, Arizona will pray for you during your time of bereavement in the passing of your dad. We are told in the scriptures that we will see our deceased loved ones again, and that we are to comfort one another with these words, as described in I Thessalonians chapter 4.

  60. Can you just imagine the reunion you will have in Heaven not only with your dad but with JESUS? I love the old hymn, In the Garden. Just imagine walking in the garden while the dew is still on the roses with him. He will always be with you in memory, pictures and words, that no one can take away from you. Know that we care for you sweet Phyllis.

  61. Every day we share with our loved ones is a blessing, and sometimes we are so busy or so distracted that we forget. It is difficult when someone we love leaves us, but as you have shared, the memories and stories not only comfort but keep that person alive. I trust that even in this time of sadness you will treasure that you were blessed to have had your father in your life for so many years. I send you my sincere sympathy. MM

  62. My deepest condolences to you and your family Phyllis. I lost my father 12 years ago and one of the things that made the wake and funeral easier to bear were the memories that friends and family shared during that time. We laughed and cried together and it was good balm for the soul. It’s still a little bittersweet when things remind me of him but nowadays it’s more often smiles than tears that come forth.

  63. Our daddies are so special. I am so sorry for your loss, for I know you will miss him. But he would t want to come back now, even if he could. And what a joy to know we have a Savior who promises that we’ll be together for eternity with Him and with our loved ones who have gone before. I’ll even get to meet your daddy, and you (if not here on earth), and you can meet mine!! He was a catbird! Again, I know you are grieving, but the Bible tells us that we do not grieve as those who have no hope. What a great hope you have. Blessings to you and your family, Phyllis!

  64. Phyllis, thank you for sharing your heart with us, even though you & your dear family are grieving your beloved father’s home-going. I believe in God’s plan, every life is long enough & every death is timely. Though you & I might wish for a longer life for our loved ones who’ve gone to glory before us, they don’t. While we’re mourning at a grave they’re marveling at heaven! While we’re questioning God, they’re praising Him! Please know that you are covered in prayer, that Jesus will be your Comforter and your Prince of Peace. You are so special to all of us who have the privilege to be your friend!

  65. My husband of almost 55 years passed away a few years ago. I remember how many people commented about things he had done for others. And, just today my daughter told me that one former neighbor told her again that our family, most especially my husband, has made a huge impact on his life.
    I still miss my dad who died almost 40 years ago. But, memories live on…..

  66. Phyllis, no matter how our mind knows our beloved ones are in heaven, our hearts still miss them down here. It is such a blessing to be able to have memories that warm your heart, and I am so happy that you have a big family to share those memories with.

    I think that’s the best thing any of us can do for someone who is grieving, not to shy away from asking them to tell us about the person that passed away, or sharing our own stories about them. Gone, but never forgotten. I agree with Marnita, that is a blessing to know. {I will say I am not a fan of the whole dying thing, as I miss my people who are in heaven greatly. But I know it is part of God’s plan, and I know no one is a fan of it.} Sending you love and strength, friend. xo

  67. Phyllis, I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. As I write this, our 91 year old Aunt is declining hourly. It does not matter how long we are blessed with the gift of loving people in our lives, it is much too short! And each that we lose, leaves us feeling a little less special. To have loving Christian parents is God’s greatest blessing; there is no bond like that of Daughter-Daddy.
    Remembering you and your family…
    “May the Peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, …guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” __Philippians 4:7

  68. Phyllis,
    I am so sorry to hear of the homegoing of your Dad. It is so hard to say goodbye to someone who means so much to us. You are in my prayers for comfort as you grieve and for the joy of sweet memories. Sending a hug.

  69. Blessings to you and your family as you walk through these days. I think that we are never ready to be without our parents.
    My father died at age 69 (way too young!) … and more than thirty years ago. Like you with your dad, I am so grateful for the life lessons he taught, and for the deep faith in God that is part of his legacy.

  70. Phyllis I am sorry for your loss. You and your family can take comfort in all the memories you have of your father. He sounds like a great man. May your father rest in peace. God Bless you and yours.
    Marilyn

  71. Phyllis, I am so deeply sorry to read of the passing of your precious dad. Grieving is personal, and we all grieve in our own way. Sending prayers for you and your sweet family. I know that God will comfort you and sustain you with His love and peace.

  72. I didn’t realize your dear Dad passed away! My deepest sympathy! My dad is thankfully still with us though my dad’s younger brother passed away in September which makes you see the brevity of life. How different though when you know can seeyour dad (loved one ) again in heaven! It is such a comfort that many don’t know. It is good to know that talking about the loved one is a comfort to the family. Then they realize how special they were to so many. Thks for sharing!

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