The Ribbon in My Journal – Phyllis Hoffman DePiano

Learning to Say No

One of the things I’m working on is saying “no,” when there is something I really don’t want to do but feel pressured or urged to do by a friend or colleague. I usually like to please people, and I find myself being obligated to do things I wish I had said no to. You get to where you are going and deep in your heart you wish you were anywhere else. But there you are. And whose fault is it? Mine. I said yes when my mind was saying no. So I’m learning to say no.

Now, I have said no to a couple of things, and I have to tell you—it is freeing. Let me say there are many wonderful things a person could be drawn to. However, just because there are a lot of delightful activities, it doesn’t mean we have to be involved in all of them. We just need to pick and choose what we are truly interested in and commit to that.

So when a friend asks you to join, be involved in, or participate in something, really think through saying yes. Guard your time. For every minute you spend doing something you really don’t want to do, you miss a minute of time that could be spent doing something you enjoy.

When I took a look at my time, I only wanted to be involved in things I really love. After taking my own advice, I found myself needing to drop out of some organizations. I have narrowed my activities down to two I really love, and I’m dropping out of three!

It’s liberating to really choose! I love looking at my calendar and seeing things I love to do. Saying no may mean saying no to relationships that are marginal. I want the people in my life to be the people I love being around, not people I have to tolerate. You know the ones; it just happens. I can remember with great relief when I dropped out of a ladies group where I really wasn’t happy, and I only went because it was expected of me.

On my journey of guarding my time, learning to say no is a big part of it. How about you? Please share these Ribbon posts with your friends. We want to reach as many as possible! 

Do you need to start saying no sometimes? Why or why not?