How to Write the Perfect Thank You Note

Phyllis Lifestyle, Video 36 Comments

Taking the time to hand write a note—especially a thank you—is such a wonderful gesture. It can be the bright spot in someone’s day, and it says a lot about how much you value his or her friendship. Of course a note is welcome any time, but I truly believe it’s just good manners to send notes after receiving gifts, in business, and simply just because.

Show your gratitude by writing the perfect thank you note for someone special. I hope the video below gives you inspiration to pick up a pen and just let the words flow.

When was the last time you wrote a thank you note?


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Comments 36

  1. Thank you for such a lovely reminder. In these days we often forget the lovely manners of yesterday. Kindness is something to be remembered and what better way to be remembered than with gratitude. I love to send thanks you notes and often times I send them in handmade cards. Thank you again.

  2. Phyllis – I should have know that a wonderful post as this is would come from you. I have watched your creativeness for years and to me you are our Southern Martha Stewart. I thank my mother for instilling in me the handwritten thank you note and correspondence. I wish more people would appreciate this lost form of communication. I am glad that my daughter has continued this with my grandchildren.

  3. “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones” and “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver”…Proverbs 16:24 & Proverbs 25:11, respectively. I believe that teaching our young ones to have hearts of gratitude in the natural through written expressions also postures them to have thankful hearts spiritually. To express thankfulness to our loving Heavenly Father for His goodness, we can look to King David who wrote many wonderful Thank You notes to His God…such as Psalm 100. Anytime I need encouragement, I go to David’s Thank You notes…the Psalms…and I am always enriched with hope and gratitude…what power in the Word written so long ago…yet so fresh today! Though our world may be growing darker…we must remember that even a tiny candle of light can push back darkness. I am very grateful for the gracious words and light that you show us…your readers. May the Lord bless you and yours. Thank you!

  4. Thank you Phyllis and fellow readers, for relaying your value of the written note. Over the past few years I fear the practice of proper etiquette has fallen by the way side. I have given gifts as important as wedding and shower without receiving a thank note; how very disappointing.

    The last thank you note I sent was to a dear friend who was kind enough to leave a couple dozen farm fresh eggs on my door step. A few days later, she scoulded me for sending a note for something as silly as eggs. But it wasn’t silly, I wanted her to know how much I appreciated her kindness and more over, her friendship.

    To all of you ladies out there who know the importance of saying a proper thank you, let’s keep lady etiquette alive and well – keep on writing!

    Have a good evening,


  5. I write thank you notes all the time…for gifts, after a party or tea at someone’s home, even after phone calls from friends that live far away. I have also kept many thank you notes that I have received. It’s just lovely,as are you, Phyllis! I have two books on the subject…Just Write by Molly O’Shaughnessy and The Art of Letter Writing by Georgina Harris.

  6. Getting a note for any reason is a real treat that changes a day into an event. Thanks for reminding us to be grateful! Enjoy your blog and remembrances of more gentle times.

  7. I love receiving a hand written thank you note, that the person has taken the time to write is a real GIFT in return!! And, we have always had a rule in the house….. No using a gift until the thank you has been written.

    Now, when I receive a note from my children or grandchildren, it’s just like a very special hug…. Just for me!! I treasure their sweet words…. And through those words receive a special “gift” in return!!

    Grandma Yaya

  8. What a very nice post and I see that you were using your good ink pen in the video. I have always used thank you notes ever since I can remember. Having and using good manners is just something that was taught when I was young and used thru my life and has been passed on to my daughters.

  9. I wrote thank you notes to everyone I received a Christmas present from. I t was nice to relive the moment of opening the gift up!

  10. Thank you for your posts – always a treat. I am veering off course a little, but want to share this. Yesterday I received a note from a precious lady and in it she enclosed the letter my mother had written her in 1988 to tell her of our daddy’s passing. Mother died 10 years ago and it was special to receive a letter in her handwriting. Any personal correspondence is very touching to me and this is one (among many others) that I will keep and re-read. Thank you for letting us share comments! Have a great day, everyone!

    1. I wrote a “collective” thank you note to a group of Nurses who helped my husband while he was in the hospital in mid January . Everyone took such good care of him during his stay .

      1. This may not be a written thank you, but as a nurse, I know how much your note was appreciated. Caring for someone, and putting our hearts and souls into it (it’s not just a “job”) and knowing it’s appreciated means so much. So thanks!

  11. You are so right. Thank you notes are a true expression of gratitude and appreciation. My mother used to make my sisters and I write them immediately after receiving a gift. of any kind, no matter what the situation was. I fear that it is a dying art though-thank you for doing your part to keep it alive.

  12. It’s so true a note/card/letter sent to someone, is something that can be felt,treasured, and reread. I keep all sorts of stationary/cards, envelopes and stamps. I have a niece that is adjusting to the 1st time away from home at college and she is delighted by my ramblings in the correspondence. I have a circle of friends who relish the arbitrarily written notes they receive. I ran across a stash of vintage postcards and those surprised many, who hadn’t received a postcard in years or ever.

  13. In this day of junk mail and bills, a handwritten note is a treasure. I have a list of friends, young and old, who receive handwritten notes from me for holidays, the changing seasons and, perhaps, no reason at all. Expressing gratitude for kind acts was imprinted upon me by my parents when I was very young. Living with a spirit of gratitude is one of the secrets to a happy life.

  14. This a great reminder! I don’t think it is ever too late to write a note of thanks even if you have put it off so long it seems silly at this late date… not, it is never too late! Put your humble pie attitude on and go for it! Next time it will be a reminder to write one immediately after receiving… I am right now putting on my ‘hpa’ with a big ‘Thank You Phyllis, for the very wonderful Victoria Magazine and The Ribbon in my Journal!! They are absolutely pure enjoyment to me and I know to many others also! Best regards, Kay

  15. Thank you for speaking about this, I have been sending Thank yous, Happy Birthday cards, Holiday, Seasonal, & Just Because correspondence for years, and was beginning to think that I was the only one. I have even had folks tell me to stop sending them thank you cards for gifts received from them.
    But I continue, because it is actually fun. God Bless!

  16. Beautiful post a wonderful reminder of expressing gratitude. I love your blog and your magazines are a highlight of my retired life.

  17. I completely agree that Thank You notes are essential. Particularly to anyone living far away. I have, in the past, received encouragement from your articles in Victoria written by Alexandra Stoddart and consequently purchased one of her books. I find all the articles in Victoria on this vein are inspiring. Thank you.


    1. Anne. Alexandra is amazing and her books are so inspiring. She and Phyllis have so many of the same values and love of life…it’s as if they were twins.

  18. I have appreciated and enjoyed all your “The Ribbon In My Journal” entries. This one about Thank You notes is so important. I instilled this courtesy into my two daughters, and also to my Grandchildren. Now I’ll have to also tell my three Great Grandchildren, and trust this etiquette continues.
    Another note, different subject – several weeks ago you offered a Piano CD that you had made, I was busy at the time and did not order it, but, would really like to. Could you please tell me where I can order this CD. Thank you so much.

  19. I just love the idea of writing letters and Thank you cards while sipping on hot tea. A dear friend of mine said that I should of been a Victorian woman because every card that she get from me is a gift and they always make her day. So, I believe that every card that I send out is like a breath of fresh air and I do hope that I put a smile on the faces of all that I write too. Thank you for sharing with us on what is a special gift that we can bring to others.

  20. I totally agree! A Thank You note today is another disappearing etiquette. Not just etiquette, but basic manners. Although the electronic age has it’s good points, I think it has done more damage to society in basic fundamentals. Excellent post!

  21. With all the technology today…such a lost art. What a wonderful post. It warms my heart to receive and I love to send them. I have a dear friend that sends letters about every 2-3 weeks. We catch up over tea or coffee once a month but in between I can always count on a letter coming in the mail catching me up on her life with her family and grandchild.

    P.S. LOVE THE NEW FACE OF CELEBRATE MAGAZINE. I receive mine in the mail but it literally popped out at me from the magazine rack yesterday while shopping.

  22. What a lovely post. And I couldn’t agree more! A lovely thank you note conveys gratitude and appreciation. I encourage my twin boys to write them when they receive a gift. In our electronic age, it’s a gracious reminder that gratitude never goes out of style.

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