Working Through Change

Phyllis Lifestyle 39 Comments

There’s one thing that is for certain in life: everything changes. I hate change. I love going to my favorite restaurant and knowing my favorite dish will be right on the menu, center column, fourth from the top. But the real springer?­ One day I went there, and there was a new menu for the season. Oh no, change!

Why does change bother us? I realize some change is good, but most of us are happy where we are, doing exactly what we want to do. Change is unsettling.

With great humor, I watch the seating order in church. When a new couple comes in and sits down, the reaction from the people whose seat they have “taken” is hilarious. Not that they mind, but they have to move. Move? Oh my, everything looks different from another seat!

How do we accept change? That is the question we will all be asking ourselves for the rest of our lives. Sometimes change is brought upon us, and there is nothing we can do. Change sometimes occurs by our decisions to change. And then there is natural change that takes place as we age.

I have a marvelous, wonderful, talented, genius, young doctor whom I adore. He is younger than my sons. Going for a visit is actually delightful because he lets you know everything is going to be fine, even when you are discouraged. We were going through the vitamins and meds that I am taking, and he said the most amazing thing: “This vitamin has all kinds of great stuff for a woman your age.”

A WOMAN MY AGE?  Are you kidding? I could blend in with the 40 year olds… well, maybe not. Without thinking, I held up my fist and said, “If you say that again, I will show you what a woman my age can do!” He about fell off his stool laughing. It was a funny moment. I am old enough to be his mother, and so that’s our standing joke—for a woman my age.

Change is here. It’s happening, and we have to embrace it. The good news is everyone ages at the same time. Have you noticed that? Days aren’t going any faster for me than for you. In my mind I will always be 30, my mother will always be 50, and I don’t look any different than I did in high school. Well, that’s in my mind. But I can tell you this: my shoes from high school still fit perfectly. 

Love life, love change, and meet every day with a smile!

Please share these Ribbon posts with your friends. We want to reach as many as possible! 

Have you seen Southern Lady magazine’s new look? Change can be a good thing! 

Southern Lady January/February 2018

Comments 39

  1. Oh my goodness Phyllis! Change is good for the brain. My docs say brush your teeth with the opposit hand even. My sister absolutely hates change and does everthing possible to keep from changing. I tell her she lives in a time warp. It’s good to learn how to do something different and possibly a better way.

  2. Ah, Change……I too feel I am the same inside, though hopefully wiser, with more compassion, patience, and appreciation, gratitude, than I was in my younger years. However, at the age approaching 80 years, I am shocked into reality when I pass a mirror, or try to borrow my grandkids’ skateboard! As the mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother of six on the autism spectrum I try to show by example that some changes are actually for the best and come with rewards. What are we missing if we never try anything new or different? Thank you, Phyllis for your thought provoking blogs!

  3. So terribly amusing about ‘change’! Especially in church! I sat in a different seat in church last week and had to resist that urge to get up and move to more familiar surroundings. I stayed, but I won’t sit there again! :o)

  4. I think my whole life has been a series of changes. 9 different schools because my father was a pastor. Marriage to a man with two teenagers. Leaving a church and going to a new one was a change. Giving birth to three children that grew into teenagers. Buying a farm. Currently my husband wants to retire, THAT is a scary change. My parents are aging before my eyes and I’m already preparing my mind to take care of them. Most of the changes resulted in some wonderful things happening in my life. Love, new friendships, new exciting adventures. I love my routines, but a some changes are good.

    1. Lynn, I read your comment with a smile on my face. I definitely relate. My father was also a pastor. I also attended 9 different schools during his pastorate while I was still living at home. I think it prepared me for a life time of change! I have started a second career as a lawyer, and just bought a ten acre corn field, where I am hoping to do a little farming myself! Sometimes I am glad I cannot see into the future, but am content to just take it one day at a time. And, my funny confession (and to Phyllis too if she’s reading this) is that I intentionally changed up my seat in church all those years, just to shake things up a bit and leave folks wondering “what the preacher’s daughter is up to now…!”

  5. Yes, change can be scary so I try to look at it from a positive point of view. I try to see it as an opportunity to explore new things and maybe learn something new as well. Challenging yourself can keep you younger in mind, body, and spirit. As I am taking on the role of “woman of a certain age,” I accept that I can’t run anymore due to knee issues. It has forced me to slow down and walk for exercise but now I notice things on my walks that I would have run past before like new flowers planted in a nearby garden or the way the nearby river ebbs and flows.

  6. Oh how my heart needed to hear these words of wisdom! Thank you, Mrs. Phyllis! You are a beautiful Southern Lady! And that’s one thing I know will not change!

  7. I love your blog, and I love the new look of Southern Lady, my favorite magazine! A change I am struggling with is the change in style of worship music in our church. If this makes me an oldie, I am guilty, but I do miss the beautiful hymns I grew up singing. They are so worshipful.

  8. Change??!! I’d rather have frogs under my pillow !! On the other side of my pillow I know that change is inevitable and for the most part good , well , that’s what I’ve always told my daughters and it helps you weather the change that sometimes isn’t so good, Your Dr story , it is too funny. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings , it brings happiness to my heart!

  9. I too am a creature of habit….more so now than ever before. I like to vacation in the same places, stay at the same hotels and eat at the same restaurants. I think for me it all has to do with comfort. But sometimes I do try something new and end up liking it so much, it becomes the new /old same thing! Life is funny that way. Thank you, Phyllis, for always putting a smile on my face.( the same old face…lol)

  10. Great post, Phyllis! Most of us are homing pigeons at hearts. “Homing” helps make us feel safe in this unsure world. I do find when I get too comfortable though, I stop growing so I try to remember to get out of my comfort zone and find another perch for a while. This is usually in very small ways. My husband and I sometimes purposely sit in a different seat in church. Amazing what you can see and how different things look. As hard as it can be, I try to venture out to learn something new or meet someone new, even briefly regularly. I feel healthier when I do.

  11. You, and Jan and I go to the same young darling doctor. {Except mine is female}

    Around the holidays, not only did I get the flu, I fainted in the shower (of all places) because of said flu, got two lumps on my head and two very unattractive black eyes. My Dr. said “at your age (!!) it’s enough to have this flu, but add to that a fall, and it could take 6 – 8 weeks to fully recover.” Hmmmm.

    Like you, Phyllis, I told her if she said that again, she’d be sorry! 🙂 But change is good. While I do wish I could stick around 50, I wouldn’t take any year back. Each age has its benefits. And change, although it is not always comfortable, in any part of our life, opens up new doors, each with a beautiful new possibility behind it. Loved this post. xo

    1. So I sent this to my Doctor and he emailed back reminding me that he said “for a woman in your age group”. So I am going to take that as my age group is 40-90. That works. He is just hilarious!!!

  12. You are so right. I recently found a picture from our Hawaii trip when he was in Viet Nam. I thought this must be some else’s pictures. Who are those kids? I guess I might have changed more than I thought.

  13. My doctor uses that phrase a lot. I went to another doctor for my hearing loss, after my test I said to him that I was sure it was due to my age. The doctor, who was old enough to be an almost grandchild, said “birthdays can cause that to happen”. So much easier to take than “a woman your age” ha ha

    1. Well I remember being his age. In fact in my mind i still am, but then I remember I have sons that age…….yikes. So I love every age and every experience.

  14. I think we have the same young doctor!! .Can’t wait till he becomes of age as a senior. As much as we hear about change some things stay the same…….aging. Seems every generation has the same reaction.
    I love the changes of the new Southern Lady magazine. The pages are a tad bigger and the cover is lovely but the same quality of people and creativity appear on every page. It is still my number one magazine. I’m always so excited to introduce my Southern Lady Magazine to a friend (in Texas) who has never seen such a beautiful magazine .

    1. Jan my doctor will never grow old….he has too much fun. Thank you for your comments on Southern Lady. I love the new format!

  15. LOL at the church seating preference.
    I didn’t see a church friend one Sunday and hoped she wasn’t sick. No worries, she sat in a different area. Imagine that

    1. Shock….we had friends that moved to sit with their children, who recently joined, and I asked her if we had hurt her feelings. She laughed and said they move every 10 years.

  16. I struggle with change, also. I generally don’t like it at all! Once, when visiting a different church, I sat in someone’s “seat.” When that elderly gentlemen came, he looked me directly in the eye, and said,” You have to move. You’re in my seat!” I moved-right out the door of the church and went home! I never went back to that church again! Hmm…..change is not fun, usually- but the reaction is not always presented in such a rude way. (I hope!). Of course one great change is the ability have a blog like yours!!!

    1. Nancee I would have done the same thing and find another church. I think once a month the minister needs to have musical seats and while we are singing, you have to move at least three rows up and over!!

      1. I love that idea of musical pews! What a Sunday that would be! Maybe we could change seats to the hymn, “Abide with me, wherever that might be!”

  17. What a great subject matter when we all make resolutions to change for the better. I firmly believe it is our unwillingness to embrace change that also prevents us from sticking to our New Year resolutions. Change is good when it’s for the better. 🙂

    The New SL issue caught my eye yesterday. So divine! I have a great weakness for Blue and White. Thank you for keeping me motivated and filling my life with so many beautiful inspirations!

  18. Change does not suit me. I still have clothes I can wear from Junior High School. I do not like to change the status quo.

  19. I do not like change. I am a creature of habit. When I go off of my routine, I am not happy. I hate when there were changes at work.

  20. Ha! Change, I hate change, especially when it is out of my control! Changes at work, changes due to age. These are changes I don’t do well. Your post made me laugh though and that made me happy! What a change!

  21. I actively seek out change. Moving (across town, across the world). Changing jobs. Trying new things. Changing my hair. Trying new workouts.
    When I stick to the same thing, it’s to avoid bothering others. I usually go to the same spot in Pilates class, because the others seem to have THEIR favorite spots. I make the same dessert whenever a certain friend comes over because he has declared it the best (and I’ll make a second, different dessert so nobody sees him and rolls their eyes that it’s going to be pecan pie AGAIN tonight).
    Your doctor sounds great. That’s so important. As for aging, it’s one thing to accept the wisdom and the wrinkles, but I fight physical limitations. I make an effort to be as healthy as possible if for no other reason than to not be a burden to my kid.

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